I’m back from Spring Break (Woohoo, Spring Break! Take a look at these! They’re jiggling for you! Say goodbye to these Michael because it’ll be the last time you’ll see them!) Ahem…anyway, I was crippled by guilt over having abandoned you guys without content for oh so long, so I had to make it up to you. And how better to do that then another piece this week! (In addition to this one: http://www.brendanloy.com/lrt/2010/04/02/cotw-the-horrible-things-we-do-to-trucks/ , of course). One in which I answer your questions! Exciting, right? Right!
Here we go!
Why is six afraid of seven?
I have it on good authority that that despicable rumor is a lie and shame on you for perpetuating it.
Hey Tim, what do you think of The Wire?
The Wire is the Val Kilmer of crime dramas and, arguably, the Val Kilmer of all TV shows.
Can you believe the news today?
I cannot. Nor can I close my eyes and make it go away.
Hey!
What, Bono?! WHAT?!
Why no Complaint about the Olympics?
Too easy a target?
I know that’s sound silly considering I spent, like, a billion words on 2012 (http://www.brendanloy.com/lrt/2010/03/06/cotwa-disaster-movie-in-every-sense-of-the-word-or-tim-applies-very-too-indepth-an-analysis-to-2012/ ), but there it is.
Plus, during the first run of the venerable institution that is Complaint of the Week, I did one about the Olympics. Almost no one who reads this version of CotW read it back then, but I did not want to plagiarize myself and I honestly did not have a fresh angle on it.
Hey man, you’ve got some Catholic in you. Any thoughts on the Church these days?
Yes. Very much, yes. I actually have three or four religion related columns I plan to release at some point (Catholicism! Scientology! Atheism! More to be named!) but not yet. First, it’s Easter Weekend and I do think some things are sacred. Second, my Catholic one was actually complimenting in its own way and I don’t really feel like complimenting the Church right now.
As far as tackling the whole child molestation in the Church thing… I don’t see me doing that. I have a hard time being anything but just damn sad about it and have no idea at this time how to translate that into something worth reading.
Batman or Superman?
Batman. In a walk. But Daredevil is my favorite comic character. And my wife’s favorite movie of all time. OF ALL TIME!
Hey, Daredevil here! Just wanted to say that the film actually is better than you might--
I got this, okay? I got it!
...
Ahem…moving on.
Why don’t you talk about comics more?
Because Brendan does not pay me to. And Marvel does. (Like here: http://marvel.com/news/comicstories.11829.psych_ward~colon~_the_lizard for instance). Also, I think I’d lose at least two of six readers if I went that route too often. I do wish I tackled the whole Fox News v. Captain America thing though, but by the time I got time to that story was dead cold.
What are you wearing right now?
A tux. As usual.
So… health care?
Yeah, that’s been something, huh? The whole situation…just ugh. There’s a CotW in it, for sure, but not today. Although I do take some hits at the piñata this week in the other CotW, so check that out for a subtle (SOOOOOOOO subtle) hint about how I feel about the whole thing.
Tim, what’s the Earth’s Mightiest Animal?
Why, the manatee, of course!
Hey, Ladies, do you like Civil War Memorabilia? Because I have two cannons.
Who’s your favorite reader?
Why you, of course.
It’s always been you.
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I know several people who read this every week who don’t comment below because, well, the Internet and all that. If that applies to you, feel free to email me at parallax2@juno.com with your comments (and if I get enough, maybe I can do another column like this every now and again). Also feel free to request me on the old facespace (http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=836564484). Just be sure to say why you are doing so (I read you on Brendan’s blog, for instance) so I don’t ignore it.