The president’s father, that is. 🙂 The long-form birth certificate:
See also Obama’s correspondence with the Hawaii Department of Health regarding the release of the document, which required a waiver of the department’s usual policy.
Some may ask what took Obama so long to request the long-form. I say, it takes time to pull of a good forgery, people! 😛
Kidding! (But you know there’s an army of birthers right now, searching this document for “evidence” of forgery, and — thanks to the confluence of confirmation bias and conspiratorial nuttery — no doubt “finding” it.)
P.S. I love how the father’s section has a line called “Usual Occupation” (and how, in 25-year-old Barack Sr.’s case, the answer was “Student” — hahaha), while the equivalent line in the mother’s section says “Type of Occupation Outside Home.” Early ’60s paternalism FTW!
UPDATE: I temporarily returned from my Twitter hiatus because I couldn’t resist making a series of (mostly lame) birth certificate jokes. My four favorites:
Real name is Barack Hussein McPhee. He was born in 1843. Lord have mercy, he’s the Frozen Man. #LongFormBirthCertificateSecretsless than a minute ago via web 
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Brendan Loy
brendanloy
Obama was sent back from an alternate-timeline future to prevent intergalactic war at Narendra III. #LongFormBirthCertificateSecretsless than a minute ago via web Favorite Retweet ReplyBrendan Loy
brendanloy
He’s actually Jewish. #LongFormBirthCertificateSecretsless than a minute ago via web Favorite Retweet ReplyBrendan Loy
brendanloy
Born in Arizona, moved to Babylonia. #LongFormBirthCertificateSecretsless than a minute ago via web Favorite Retweet ReplyBrendan Loy
brendanloy
Some more after the jump.
Obama’s real parents are Oprah and Bill Ayers. #LongFormBirthCertificateSecretsless than a minute ago via web Favorite Retweet ReplyBrendan Loy
brendanloy
Obama is Trig Palin’s real mother. #LongFormBirthCertificateSecretsless than a minute ago via Tweetbot for iPhone Favorite Retweet ReplyBrendan Loy
brendanloy
Turns out, copy of long-form birth certificate was in unencrypted file on Obama’s iPhone this whole time. #LongFormBirthCertificateSecretsless than a minute ago via web Favorite Retweet ReplyBrendan Loy
brendanloy
Birthplace: a manger in Bethlehem. #LongFormBirthCertificateSecretsless than a minute ago via web Favorite Retweet ReplyBrendan Loy
brendanloy
Shortened middle name to “Hussein” from politically problematic “Bin-Laden-Hussein-Pol-Pot-Hitler-Stalin.” #LongFormBirthCertificateSecretsless than a minute ago via web Favorite Retweet ReplyBrendan Loy
brendanloy
Per Rick Jeanneret, certificate was on the “top shelf where mama hides the cookies.” #LongFormBirthCertificateSecrets #SabresHumor #TooSoon?less than a minute ago via web Favorite Retweet ReplyBrendan Loy
brendanloy
Obama was born in Hawaii — America’s 57th state. #LongFormBirthCertificateSecretsless than a minute ago via web Favorite Retweet ReplyBrendan Loy
brendanloy
Birth certificates are so played out. Academic and immigration records are the New Hotness.
The REAL question is this: why has the white iPhone been announced today, the SAME DAY this birth certificate was released? Huh? What is Obama hiding about our white iPhones? WHAT IS ON WHITE iPHONES THAT OBAMA DOESN’T WANT US TO KNOW?!?!?
First of all, I would just like to thank Donald Trump for accomplishing this immense feat of public service.
But secondly, anyone can see that this document is a fake, a forgery, and a fraud. I mean, his mother’s name is Stanley? Yeah, right. Two dudes can’t make a baby. You’d think they’d at least get that right.
Then there is the obvious fakeness of the background pattern. The lines are not set at perfect right angles. Instead of 90 degrees, some are 89.9999, and others are 90.0001. I mean, hello people?!? Protractors!!!!
Everybody knows that Obama is the antichrist, born on the planet Kenya, here to bring the evil socialism and accelerate the end days. His fake birth certificate proves this.
Two dudes can’t make a baby.
Homophobe.
We have been resigned to being stuck with him until January of 2013 for a while now …
With that said, does anyone know what the stuff to the left of the long vertical black line is ? More bait for Birthers ? It looks like someone tried to line up the pattern lines on the right, top, and bottom, of the certificate, but didn’t notice that the stuff on the left doesn’t line up …
From that left thingie, one can hypothesise that the entry is at the top of a page – so why not show that it is indeed at the top of a page ?
Anyway, as many of us are saying, there are a lot of much more inportant things about which to be worrying right now …
OH – and, before I forget, it does seem to be a VERY true statement that “Barack Hussein Obama was indeed born in Kenya”, as your post says …
Barack Hussein Obama II, however, does seem to have been born in Hawai’i, according to the document being touted about currently by the White House …
NOW we need the records from Indonesia released that shows he changed his name to Barry Sotero and became a Muslim.
(Just kidding…)
Brendan #4 – isn’t he being sexist rather than homophobe ?
In Nature, two males alone cannot make a baby – but certain females alone can …
I am not a homophobe. B. Hussein O.’s PARENTS are the homophobes here! They caught the homophobia while in Africa. This fake gay birth certificate proves that legally. Maybe our President is also a homophobe — we don’t know, he won’t provide the blood tests yet.
Oh, and of course I do not need to point out that the ONLY way that gay African dudes could make a baby is with the help of SATAN, and possibly also the OPRAH.
It all makes perfect sense now…
OMG — Alasdair!! I didn’t even notice that!!!!
They must have hidden that he is MUSLIM behind that line! That’s the ONLY explanation!!!!
Wow, until today nobody knew that our President was a gay muslim. Now we have proved it legally. God bless Donald Trump.
Also, given that this is a fake gay birth certificate, not an actual birth certificate, it definitely needs to be referred to as something OTHER than a birth certificate. Perhaps “fake gay document of muslim lies from Kenya”.
YES! STEVE MARTIN’S KING TUT! LOVE LOVE LOVE THAT SONG!
@Casey, clearly this is a conspiracy by Jeremiah Wright to dupe honest white people into hating America. Obama is a Kenyan born extremist Muslim with an anti-American Christian pastor who approves of gay marriages, like the one Obama’s parents had. Duh! Everyone knows he’s trying to destroy America by raising gas prices and sounding all Muslim-y. I heard he didn’t belong in Harvard, but he only got in because he was a Kenyan Muslim with two daddies. Why won’t he release his grades, his childhood immunization records and his grocery list? Clearly, he’s eating effeminate arugula when he should be eating steak!
I do wonder what would have happened if Pres. Bush had refused to release his school transcripts………..
His apologists would try to deflect the issue with sarcastic dismissals of lame caricatures, i.e., the same thing happening now.
As for Obama, unless he releases his transcripts I just assume that, like Kerry, he is an “intellectual” with worse grades than GWB.
Honestly, I’m not sure the transcripts mean much. The only thing GWB’s are good for is making fun of him, but even that is pretty meaningless. I certainly doubt releasing them actually won him any votes… Release them, don’t release them I don’t really care. As for the content, I would assume his grades were reasonable given he got a job as a con law professor. He probably took basket weaving one semester and doesn’t want people to know about it. I don’t think his grades will make much of a difference in my wiliness to vote for him again. Something I’m disinclined to do at the moment for a number of reasons having nothing to do with things that happened decades ago. At the end of the day it’s just something to bluster about back and forth, but it doesn’t mean squat.
I would assume his grades were reasonable given he got a job as a con law professor.
He wasn’t quite a “con law professor.” I wouldn’t necessarily assume anything about the grades of a “lecturer.”
Well, BHO did graduate magna cum laude from Harvard Law (top 10%).
But this isn’t the point. You can’t judge someone based on what you know about them. You judge them based on what you DON’T know.
For example, what were Obama’s grades in Columbia, prior to Harvard Law? We don’t know. If they were good, he would tell us. So clearly he was failing. Donald Trump’s army of investigators will get to the bottom of that soon, just like they found the fake birth certificate.
And what exactly was he doing in Pakistan? If it were innocent, he would have told us all about it. So we have proven that he was training with terrorists.
Now, people like dcl might be perfectly comfortable, even happy, with the idea of a card-carrying gay communist liberal terrorist moron antichrist as President. But we real Americans know better.
Here is the fundamental question: if BHO has nothing to hide, why are there so many questions left that he has not answered?
Didn’t Obama graduate Magna Cum Laude from Harvard and serve as president of the Harvard Law Review? Doesn’t seem like an underachiever who was skating by with government aid. Oh yeah, he also became president of the united states without any relatives in high places pulling strings for him.
Now that I think about it, the debate really does seem black and white afterall.
Casey, you forgot “fake gay birth certificate.”
Sandy, clearly he was a beneficiary of racist grade inflation.
Why judge people based on what I don’t know, when it’s easier to judge them based on what others don’t know. For example, I know that BHO graduated from Columbia without honors, which means his GPA was below 3.3. I also know that magna cum laude at HLS has only been limited to those in the top 10% of their class since 1999, eight years after BHO graduated. I also know that about half of the editors for the Harvard Law Review are chosen based on their first-year grades, with the rest chosen based on their write-on competition scores or on a “discretionary basis.” I also know that BHO was elected to head the Harvard Law Review, as opposed to being the student with the highest academic rank as had been done in the past.
My own unverifiable guess is that BHO most likely finished in, say, the top 30-40% of his class at HLS, given that he didn’t really distinguish himself much intellectually during most other periods of his life. That’s plenty smart, of course. For my part I’m just curious whether his transcript shows that he ever, say, took an economics class.
Oh well, I’m sure Obama’s transcript is all A’s anyway and he’s just too embarrassed to make it public, humble guy that he is…
According to that LA Times article, under the system in place when BHO graduated from HLS, 76% of grads earned honors. Theoretically, BHO could’ve been a C student.
No no no Joe Mama, that’s just for honors, which includes merely the CUM LAUDE fellows. In the new system, percentiles 60-90 recieve CUM LAUDE honors. They outnumber MAGNAS a bit more than 3 to 1. Extending those proportions to the previous system, MAGNAS like BHO would still be the top 19%.
Without doubt BHO was at the absolute bottom of that 19%. But how did he do that well? Think about it. We have proved legally that he failed everything from Kindergarten in Kenya to Columbia in Harlem. How did he suddenly do so well in Harvard? This goes beyond affirmative action.
Here is my point: it is not enough to merely see his grades. We need to see all the papers he submitted, so that we can evaluate them ourselves and see if they were worthy of the grades that his LIBERAL professors assigned. Once we see his papers, and objectively evaluate them, we can determine what his grades SHOULD have been.
AMERICA is a DEMOCRACY, which means THAT the people have THE last say. And we KNOW things that all the elite liberal professors HAVE been hiding from us FOR years.
But don’t take my word for it PERIOD DONALD TRUMP will explain all this soon….