There isn’t much point in blogging the latest conference realignment developments, since they’ll all change in 5 minutes, then change back again. Instead, a sampling of amusing (to me, at least) tweets — extended slightly for the blog format in a few cases — applying Lord of the Rings quotes to Conferencepocalypse. (Credit to Brandon Minich and DocErock on some of these.)
And yes, I did the same thing last summer. They’re still funny! And we have a bunch of new ones! With the various characters in new roles!
“A day may come when the courage of men fails… when we forsake our friends, and break all bonds of fellowship. That day is today!”
“Embrace the power of the superconference, or embrace your own destruction.”
“DeLoss, the enemy is moving. Slive’s forces are massing in the East; his eye is fixed on Columbia. And Oklahoma, you tell me, has betrayed us. Our list of allies grows thin!”
“This evil cannot be concealed by the power of the Longhorn Network. We do not have the strength to withstand both Slive and Scott! Texas cannot stay here.”
Texas A&M: “You think you are wise, Bevo. Yet for all your subtleties, you have not wisdom. Do you think the eyes of the 12th Man are blind?”
“The SEC? what madness drove them in there?”
“By foul craft Slive is breeding an army that can…cover great distance at speed.” #SECspeed
“One does not simply walk into the SEC. There is evil there that does not sleep.”
As A&M consults its Palantir, Silve’s voice booms out: “BUILD ME A TEAM WORTHY OF THE SEC.”
“The enemy has many spies . . . birds . . . tweets . . .”
Big East: “Are you frightened?” Big 12: “Yes.” Big East: “Not nearly frightened enough. I know what hunts you.”
Dan Beebe: “Where is the Husker and the Buffalo? Where is the Aggie that was oy-oy-oy-ing? They have passed like rain on the mountain, like wind in the meadow. The days have gone down in the West, behind the hills, into shadow. How did it come to this?”
“Arise, Riders of Beebe! … Ride now! Ride now! Ride! Ride to ruin, and the world’s ending! DEATH! DEATH! DEATH!!”
“Is there any hope, DeLoss, for the Big 12?” “There never was much hope. Just a fool’s hope.”
Beebe: “My line has ended. A&M has deserted us. OU’s betrayed me. Abandon your posts! Flee, flee for your lives!”
“No tomb for the Big 12. No long, slow sleep of death embalmed. We shall burn, like the heathen conferences of old!”
“Farewell, Iowa State and Baylor. I release you from my conference. Go now and die in what way seems best to you.”
I kind of needed this right now.
Except the last quote. Way too accurate for my tastes.