[This post was originally published on The Living Room Tumblr.]
What should be the rules of Last Man: Pope, if anybody wants to play it? I would propose the following:
- The object of the game is to go as long as possible without possessing The Knowledge. Participants, or “Knowledge Runners,” are advised to avoid the news, social media, etc.
- “The Knowledge” is comprised of three parts. Once you learn any of these three things, you have The Knowledge and are eliminated from the game:
1) The given name of the new Pope;
2) The papal name taken by the new Pope;
3) The country/region of origin of the new Pope. - You don’t have to be a Catholic to play, but you do have to be a regular consumer of news, such that you would typically be exposed to this sort of information. (I personally believe a modified version of this rule – “a regular consumer of sports news” – should govern Super Bowl #lastman as well, replacing the blanket exclusion of females and blanket inclusion of males.)
- Just like #lastman begins when the Super Bowl ends, but players typically begin running from #TheKnowledge long before that, #lastmanpope technically begins when the white smoke appears, but players are advised to beginning running from #TheKnowledge as soon as the papal conclave starts – since, after all, it could end at any time, and once the white smoke appears, you may not be able to block out all media quickly enough to avoid The Knowledge. Plus, who knows, while it hasn’t happened before, in this Twitter age word could leak out ahead of the official announcement. And once you Know, you Know.
- Always play honestly. If you learn something that very strongly suggests you have The Knowledge, you should probably disqualify yourself. If you aren’t sure, but it later turns out you actually did have The Knowledge, you are disqualified from the moment that happened.
- Nobody ever wins Last Man: Pope. It always ends in a loss. Although perhaps, if you make it all the way to the naming of the next pope without knowing the identity of the previous pope, you should get some sort of J. Scott Fitzwater Lifetime Achievement Award.