The Living Room Times

Today, the NCAA announced Ohio State’s sanctions for Tresselgate. They are, of course, far less severe than USC’s sanctions, despite the misconduct having been indisputably more widespread, with higher university officials (like, I don’t know, THE HEAD COACH) having been undeniably more directly responsible for what occurred.

Asked to comment, USC athletic director Pat Haden demurred: “My job is to move on. Not going to compare it.”

Here’s what Haden should have said:

Good afternoon. Today, the NCAA announced that it is imposing a 1-year bowl ban, and a reduction of 9 scholarships over 3 years, on Ohio State’s football program. These penalties resulted from an investigation which found that five football players had sacrificed their amateur status, sold merchandise illicitly, and taken illegal benefits from boosters within the Columbus community, and that head coach Jim Tressel knew about this, lied about it to the NCAA, and covered up his role, in large part so that the ineligible athletes could continue to compete for Ohio State, including in the 2010 Sugar Bowl.

As you know, USC is presently serving a 2-year bowl ban, and is about to suffer a reduction of 30 scholarships over 3 years, as a result of the NCAA’s findings that a single football player took illegal benefits, in San Diego, from a would-be agent. The NCAA found that USC had not adequately monitored this athlete’s activities or those of the agent, and had lacked institutional control in that the university “should have known” what was occurring, because “high-profile athletes require high-profile monitoring.” Crucially, however, the NCAA found no proof of actual knowledge by the school, still less of coaches or other university employees lying to the NCAA or engaging in a coverup.

We are gratified that, by imposing lesser penalties on Ohio State for what are indisputably more serious infractions that those committed in the USC case, the NCAA has tacitly acknowledged that its penalties against USC were far too harsh. It is unfortunate that the NCAA did not come to this realization sooner, such as when we appealed for a reduction in the penalties. However, the NCAA has obviously, if belatedly, realized its mistake, and for that we are grateful. All of college athletics is better off when the punishment for a given infraction fits the crime, as in the Ohio State case, rather than being grossly excessive, as in the USC case.

In light of these developments, we look forward to receiving an explicit statement of acknowledgement and apology from the NCAA. We also believe, although our appeals process has been exhausted, that a discretionary decision by the NCAA to reduce our scholarship penalties would be appropriate. But in any case, we are grateful that the mistakes made by the NCAA in our case will not be repeated going forward, and other schools will not suffer similarly unreasonable penalties to the ones we were given.

Thank you for your time.

But alas.

For the record, I’m genuinely glad Ohio State didn’t get hit harder. The fact that USC got royally screwed — a fact that cannot now seriously be disputed — is no reason to royally screw everyone else, too. That flies in the face of the concept of “precedent,” of course, but I’m looking at the bigger picture here. We can’t be giving Ohio State a three- or four-year ban, Miami the death penalty, and Penn State…what the hell would you give Penn State? No, we can’t do that, not if we want college sports to continue.

What should happen is an explicit renunciation of the USC ruling — the precedent being wiped off the books with an apology, a cancellation of the as-yet unserved sanctions, mass resignations from the Committee on Infractions, and a criminal investigation of Paul Dee (okay, kidding, I’m sure he’s done nothing criminal, but dammit, I can dream). That won’t happen, of course, because of the NCAA operates like a third-world kleptocracy, and third-world kleptocrats can never acknowledge that they were wrong about anything — it’s right there in the third-world kleptocrat handbook! So the USC ruling will remain on the books, a “widows & orphans” case that will never be used as precedent for anything, and USC fans will forever (or at least for the next decade or so) be pissed off when new rulings come out that are plainly unjustifiable when compared to our sanctions. That’s just how it’s gonna have to be, folks.

Meanwhile, I extend my sincere sympathies to any Buckeye fans who might be reading this. You’ll see no schadenfreude from this corner. It sucks to be you today. I know. I remember. But take heart: you’ll be back. Today is the low point. So fly your colors proudly today, as I did when USC’s sanctions were announced. Take your medicine, but have pride in your school. Tomorrow, the sun will rise. And Urban Meyer will still be your coach, you bastards. 🙂

UCLA sucks. That is all.

P.S. Enjoy your Pac-12 South “championship”! Have fun at Autzen! HAHAHAHAHA