The Living Room Times

So, two to three weeks ago, CNN Money declared my alum mater, Connecticut College, to be one of the top ten most expensive school in the nation with a price tag north of 50,000 dollars. To those of you wondering about my net worth, tuition has gone up about 2-3 thousand dollars every year since I graduated. And I had loans and grants. So, yeah…it is definitely out of my price range.

Anyway, I was so inspired by this fabulous news that I sprung onto Tweeter (@UnGajje) and began to offer good ol’ Conn some suggestions about how they market themselves in this new economy. Here are some of the efforts—found under #conncollegeslogans—so far.

Conn College: Come to a place associated with an athletic conference so corrupt it is almost impossible.

Note: This is based on a comment from sports writer Alex Beam who referred to NESCAC (Northeastern Small College Athletic Conference) as being impossibly corrupt. He didn’t offer evidence and as it was one of two conferences (Ivy being the other) in the US that don’t do athletic scholarships, I’m not sure what he is referring to. 

Conn College: It’s really your parents’ money anyway, right?   

Conn College: Just because you can’t go to an Ivy League uni, doesn’t mean you can’t pay Ivy League prices.

Conn College: This is the President’s fault, too.

Note: This was originally intended as an Obama reference, but it also works as reference to former college President Claire Gaudiani who was both an excellent fundraiser and a widely disliked figure on campus. She also entrenched us in… 

Conn College: Hey, that eminent domain lawsuit was expensive, all right?

Note: …an eminent domain case in New London, CT by aligning the school with the New London Development Corporation by becoming the NLDC’s president as well and loaning money to the for-profit arm of the NLDC. We didn’t actually have to be part of the eminent domain case itself but that money never made its way back to the school. 

Conn College: This is really still all Claire’s fault, we promise.

Note: See above 

Conn College: Your chance to stick it to those jerks at the country club.

Conn College: If you have a better idea how to pay for all this beautiful art, we would like to hear it!

Note: I am referring to these…objects.

Climbing on this is discouraged...so I've heard.

True story: this pic does not show up on Google's Moderate Image Search Setting. That's right, it is too sexy for Google.

This one spins! Like my plantinum rims!

Conn College: Because everyone knows cost and quality is the same thing.

Conn College: Because you have to spend all that damn money on something.

Conn College: Hey, they are calling you an elitist anyway, right?

Conn College: For those years when you are just too busy to buy yet another German sports car.

As always Tim can be reached at parallax2 [at] juno [dot] com, followed on Twitter @UnGajje, or friended on Facebook. Please feel free to do so or comment below.