Other Groundhog Day news

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LIFE-US-GROUNDHOGIn case you haven’t heard, Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow this morning, which means six more weeks of winter.

In other news, Nancy Pelosi saw her shadow, which means six more weeks without health-care reform.

Also, Barack Obama saw his shadow, but insisted he inherited it from George W. Bush.

Scott Brown saw his shadow, but announced it’s not his shadow, it’s the people’s shadow.

Rahm Emmanuel saw his shadow, and exclaimed, “F*** YOU, SHADOW!”

James Inhofe saw his shadow, but insisted the shadow could not possibly be manmade, as it’s folly to believe any human being could possibly block the light of the sun. He then decried the scientific conspiracy promoting the bogus theory of anthropogenic shadows.

Dick Cheney saw his shadow, and proceeded to waterboard it. But he insists this was not torture.

Sarah Palin saw her shadow. In Russia.

Andrew Sullivan uncovered evidence that Sarah Palin could not possibly have seen her shadow, and wrote 86 blog posts about this latest “odd lie.” Meanwhile, Sullivan himself saw his shadow, and praised President Obama for having the courage and subtle tactical brilliance to make the Sun come out despite the endless oppositionism of the nihilist Republicans.

John Boehner saw his shadow, and blamed President Obama for irresponsibly allowing the Sun to cast shadows. He proposed that this problem be solved by extending the Bush tax cuts.

Orly Taitz saw her shadow, and demanded to see its long-form birth certificate.

Several AIG executives saw their shadows, and gave them multi-million dollar bonuses.

Glenn Beck saw his shadow, and was afraid for our country. He then wept.

Pete Carroll did NOT see his shadow, because he now lives in Seattle, which, unlike L.A., does not have sunlight, ever. He then wept.

Lane Kiffin saw his shadow, which means he will stay at his current job for at least six more weeks.

NCAA confirms its interest in destroying the greatest sporting event ever created

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Moments ago, Sports by Brooks posted this update to its earlier report that expansion of the NCAA Tournament from 65 to 96 teams — an unspeakably dumb, absolutely ridiculous, totally insane, utterly indefensible, wolf-face crazy idea — is a “done deal.” The new report, which links to a Fox Sports story, involves weasel-word contradictions of the “done deal” notion that, frankly, make the initial report sound even more plausible. These are by no means Shermanesque denials. To wit:

The NCAA continues to investigate the possibility of expanding the NCAA tournament, but NCAA senior vice president Greg Shaheen told FOXSports.com that no decision has been made.

“Nothing is a done deal,” Shaheen, who oversees the tournament, told FOXSports.com on Monday afternoon. “We’re talking with parties who have interest.” …

Shaheen said that there has been continuous dialogue about the potential of going from 65 to 96 teams.

“It’s part of our due diligence,” Shaheen said. “We have to look at what our membership wants.” …

“We are looking into all the possibilities,” Shaheen said. “We have to look into it, but we don’t even know if we’d do it. Just because we’re checking into it doesn’t mean we’re going to do it.”

“We have to assess everything,” he added. “Have we talked to people in our membership about expanding? Absolutely.”

Translation: they’re going to do it. Idiots. Oh, and then there’s this, from SbB:

After I posted my report earlier today and saw the almost unanimous negative reaction from fans, I asked one of my original sources if fan and media backlash could kill the move to 96 teams.

My source said, “no.”

As Andrew pointed out via e-mail, this is a classic “Life imitates The Onion” moment:

A slice of March Madness in Colorado?

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Unlike my last two home cities (South Bend and Knoxville), Denver isn’t much of a college-sports town — pro sports definitely rules the roost here. But, depending on how things play out in the Big Sky Conference, we could end up with some March Madness up in Greeley, 60 miles north of town, on the 9th and 10th of next month.

You see, whoever wins the Big Sky’s regular-season title hosts the semifinals and finals of the conference tournament. As things stand now, that would be Weber State, which has a 8-1 record in conference play. Northern Colorado is in second place, two games back, with a 7-3 record. Montana and Montana State are tied for second at 6-4.

UNC inline LOGOBut here’s the thing. Northern Colorado — which is currently ranked #11 in College Insider’s Mid-Major Top 25 — has already completed the difficult part of its schedule, with one exception: a trip to first-place Weber State on February 13 (i.e., next Saturday). And we know that game is winnable, because Northern Colorado already handed Weber State its lone conference loss, 84-75 on January 7. Weber State, meanwhile, has road games on consecutive nights coming up this Friday and Saturday at Montana and Montana State, the aforementioned third-place teams. So Northern Colorado is still very much alive in the conference race.

If Weber State loses to at least one of the Montana teams, and NoCo wins its next two vs. Northern Arizona (5-5) and at Idaho State (3-6), the game next Saturday between the Bears and Wildcats would be for first place in the conference, with home-court advantage in the Big Sky Tournament potentially at stake.

Why do I care? Because, needless to say, if Championship Week Fortnight is going to include a game in Greeley with an NCAA Tournament bid at stake, I will most certainly be trying to get tickets and go. 🙂 So: GOOOO BEARS!!! And GOOOO ASSORTED MONTANA TEAMS, BEEEEAT WILDCATS!!!